Self-Improvement

Last month I talked about the meaning that buying clothing has had for me. Overcoming the challenges of the last few years of my life has be very difficult, to say the least. But the change has been about focusing on myself for once. Thinking clearly about the things I want, not what other people want or what other people want for me.

took this pic accidentally, lol

Like a camera coming into focus, I'm starting to see myself. When I moved out to Seattle, I didn't do it for me. I loved Seattle when I got there, but moving out had been like a train crashing into the station. It was all so fast, unplanned. I felt like the man was checking tickets and told me I was on the wrong train. The forces were propelling me away from my goal, making me a pillar for others to step on.

So, buying clothing was for me. About 90% of my clothing was bought in the last year. I've tossed so much out, it's crazy. I've been working on my looks as a part of my self-improvement momentum. I have never been an incredibly attractive guy. In some ways, I feel like that was the downfall of my efforts to start a rock band, but I digress. Lately, I've been buying tighter-fitting clothing. I have been using a new teeth-whitening gel (and it's really working! my teeth have really improved!). I've been doing yoga and working out every day for the last few months. I've made beginning efforts to eat healthier again (beginning, but there's way more to go on that). I want to bring my weight down, for health and dating reasons. 

I think the next big step for me is immersing myself into the social world again. I was sort of going through a recluse-socialite-recluse-socialite phase for the past few months, just depending on whether or not any of my friends were in town. Now, I'm feeling like my reclusive period is almost over. I need to get involved in something. Something nerdy, hopefully. I might go join the STL Writer's Guild or something.

Well, that's as update as I've got for this month. The other big thing for me is the fact that I bought an amazing camera, which I blogged about here.

Thanks for reading, caring, etc. I love you, whoever you are. Don't be a stranger. I could use more random conversations in my life, so feel free to message me.

I bought a camera and I'm geeking out

Title says it all, really.

I blew my money on something I've always wanted: a nice camera. This is it:

I feel like a nice camera is a tool that every author (and author wannabe!) should have. Learning to speak publicly is something that contradicts the mentality of many writers. I mean, when we write, we get to edit. Backspace. Delete. Reword. Writers can be thoughtful and take their time putting their words together.

But public speaking is different; you can't take back the things you say in the immediate. You can't take back tone of voice and other nonverbal cues. Writers love to sit in their little offices and nooks and place one word after another in the comfort of their home computers. Public speakers have to be on target at all times. They must be clear, not jumble their words. They need the right tone and look good--that's another thing.

I've been working on making myself look better. There are so many things that owning a camera will teach me. An author must be able to go out into the public and speak to people professionally, with warmth, caring, vibrant virtues. I want to learn how to speak better so I can better promote myself and enjoy the community of book lovers that exist out there.


So that brings me to my new HD camcorder. I want to make videos that will teach me, not how to write, but how to be a good friend to anyone that may someday read my work. If you look at authors like Maggie Stiefvater, Lisa McMann, or Heather Brewer you can see how much their personal warmth and direct interaction with their readership drives them as writers. It's cool. I want to be more like them, I guess.

I've always loved being behind the scenes, but I want my novel to be in the spotlight (which means I'll have to thrust myself there, too).

My first video with my new camera: