Big Life Changes - summer 2022

Marriage, new job, moving across state lines.

Yeah, it’s all going to change by the end of this year.

me right before watching seniors graduate!

 

Easy place to start is getting married. Been living alone for quite a few years... I'm pretty good at it. Decorating my apartment the way I want, eating whatever I want, the quiet... It’s nice that there’s not constantly a TV running (I grew up with my grandparents, and they neverEVER turned off the tube).

 

My current job as artistic director of a performing arts high school is all about serving everyone constantly. I’m always helping teachers, staff, always working to make students’ visions for art come to life. I love it, but it can be draining.

I guess that’s why I love the quiet so much. I barely ever listen to the radio when I’m in my car (people think I’m weird, but I just need the mental clarity time). Coming back to a quiet home has helped me. It’s like meditation.

All this to say, I’m going to have to learn how to not live alone again. My fiancée lives with like 3-4 people depending on the day. She never eats dinner alone, always spending time with family. I’m very much the opposite. It will take me some mental adjustment.

So, Cari lives in a different state than me... which is why I’m moving.

I’m moving back home to Southern Illinois, finally. Been awhile. I’m looking forward to it. St. Louis is busy, busy. Lots of road rage there... The very first day I moved to STL, my Internet installer ran into my apartment and slammed the door.... Some random guy had attacked him with a coat hanger. I called the cops, and he had been trying to attack cars. 

 

Southern Illinois is more my speed. It’s a mix of suburbs and cornfields, shopping malls and cows. When I drive through Illinois, I always forget how peaceful it is. There’s good and bad in every community, but the spacing is bigger in the ‘burbs+rural, so you just don’t see it as often. Plus, it’s home.

 

Third big change is my new job. Yes, I’m leaving my position as artistic director. I'll be teaching high school English. Technically, that’s always been my background, so I’m looking forward to using my degree as I originally planned.

 

Starting as Technical Director and then getting promoted to Artistic Director was a great ride. I’ve learned so much, so many new skills, met so many interesting people. I had a lot of fun! It was the most work I’ve ever had to do at a job, but some days were just the best.

I think it will be interesting to go from being the department chair of the fine arts department to the new guy, low on the totem pole. I’m looking forward to worrying about my own classroom and not everyone else’s, but there will be many things I miss. I wrote my students a letter of farewell, and so many of them have come up and wished me well (or tell me they are mad at me for leaving J). It’s bittersweet.

 

But, starting lots of new things is pretty much my theme in 2022.

20 $%&#ing 20

This year....

The worst year for America--perhaps the planet--in my entire lifetime. 

Me? 

Personally, I have been OK. I have an excellent, wonderful, beautiful, hilarious, perfect girlfriend. My job remained in tact, and I've been given new responsibilities (doing the artistic direction for a performing arts school, pretty cool!). That is a blessing, and I don't discount that I work in the arts and maintained a full-time job. I had a major virtual show, which was amazing. Earlier this year, I had a very big challenge at work, though. Man, it was hard.

Members of my family had COVID-19, but no deaths. No friends lost. Blessings. I got my teeth fixed. My teeth also pain me a lot. I guess, I made progress. I can smile in public now, anyway. I definitely gained weight during the pandemic. 2021 needs to be the year that changes me.

My art moved a lot after the pandemic first hit. When we were forced to stay home, I used any free time I had to work on my novel, do edits. After the summer, my art slowed down, as my work took over again. My work is art, though. I guess it all works out. 

Maybe the worst part of 2020 (...in my little, insignificant cutout of the world...) was cancelling my road trip to Disney World and Harry Potter World. That was a bummer. 

Good things that kept me going in 2020:

Dungeons and Dragons with friends. 

Playing Jackbox Games with my Discord Server.

Poker with my girl.

My girlfriend.

I went on a New Year's hike with Gabe and his mom. That was on Jan 1. A good workout!!

Fluxx. 

Painting. 

I bought a VR headset. Perfect timing. Can't go anywhere? Well, now you can go anywhere in VR. I played a ton of Skyrim, No Man's Sky, and other games. 

Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing. 

I upgraded my phone. My old one died.

2021

Beats me. I have no idea what next year will be like. Hard to guess. More pandemic fallout, for sure. I hope the vaccine comes quick, and that the world gets back to normal.


I want to go to conventions again. I want shopping at nerdy stores to be fun again, and not a germ-atorium. I miss being out and about. I guess, all in all, I just want to create more art in the new year. I want to see students back in schools (when it is SAFE for them and staff). I want to create more. I want to reschedule a Disney trip. I have secret plans, too. :-D 

Stay safe, ya'll. SEE?!? you in the New Year! 

Six Pics from my Month

autumn selfie

my workshop, cleaned mid construction

bought my mother these as a birthday gift, hid them in her cabinet

true art

oh yeah it snowed and the school I work for shutdown for the day

the musical set I worked for months on! Whew!

"Bakkaddit Ballet"

I drew a ballet, of sorts. It kind of sums up my life at the moment.

Sometimes I call myself the master juggler. I just get called upon to do all sorts of random things. Not to be vague, but it's true. When you're fat, and you try to get back into working out, your body fights against you. The pains come. You worked too hard too fast and you pinch a nerve and cannot move. You give up.

That's not exactly what this drawing is about, but similar. I want to do all the things, but I know success, true sky climbing success, comes from tunnel vision.

"Where I want to be" perhaps never should be where you are, in a way. If you're exactly where you want to be, then what point is there to going anywhere? What do you look forward to? I guess I'm not yet where I want to be, but I'm where I need to be right now. Dancing between the tiles, avoiding hot lava where I can.

Just gotta figure out how a master juggler can have tunnel vision. 

Life Update, Jan through May

Events

It’s been awhile since I’ve written about what’s been going on with me on here, so here it is, the first part of my 2017, blogged:

First, gorram Donald Trump became president. Not even gonna go into that.

The Women’s March on Washington made me proud, however. That was one of the biggest events/protests in my lifetime, if not the biggest. The most important political event since Ferguson.

I helped a friend move, went to another friend’s surprise party, went to the zoo with another friend, and went out with friends from work.

Oh yeah, then I quit my job. I loved ICA, but it was time for a life change. I think my co-workers and management misses me, though.

I got a tooth pulled, lol. Fun! Actually, it wasn’t so bad.
My band friends and I decided to do a new album, too. I’ve been making music again, feels good.

I finished the hardest edit I’ve ever done on my novel, and I also queried my first agents. I’m excited!

I completed a new 24/hour New Play Festival, and it was amazing. A great time!

I watched that giraffe, April, have her baby, LIVE. Went to a cards game with that friend I helped move soon after, and I got to see her finished apartment! Looks awesome! Helped my cousin who was stranded without a car, and that lead to a job interview.

Worked hard on the sequel to my novel, expanded the world quite a bit. Also, went to a show at my old high school, Little Shop of Horrors. They did an excellent job.

I suppose that leads to where I am now, sitting here typing. At the moment I’m planning on doing a songwriting weekend and another weekend at a music festival. Then there’s E3, Comic Con, and another 24/hour New Play Fest. June is loaded up! It’s an exciting time for me, right now. After June, July will be quieter, but then it ramps up again through October. 

So, life

Life’s good. I’m in a good point. I’m doing important, meaningful things every single day. I feel motivated. I’m busy. I’m pushing myself to new limits. I can’t complain. The future is bright. 

So far I’m going through a big transition into the unknown, but it’s not a scary unknown but an adventure. I have no idea where I’ll be at in a year. I don’t know where I’ll be living. I don’t know what I’ll be doing (other than writing). I could be anywhere.

One Year of Daily Writing (not on this blog)

Today I achieved one year of writing down something from my life each day onto a calendar book that I got from a random credit union.

It’s really cool to remember things like my dream about a haunted centipede tattoo or that one guy who dressed up as Colonel Mustard at that Halloween party. I logged sad memories about a college buddy passing away and that day I got hit by a tornado while on Green Mount Road. This past year, I marched in a parade for a congressman, went 37 days without caffeinated beverages (…COFFEE…), saw a musical comedy in Chicago, road tripped to SOHO music fest, and pranked about a million telemarketers (and one very unsuspecting AT&T U-verse door-to-door dude).

Weird to see so much of it bunched up in a paragraph like that.  

Gloomy

Lots of storms in the Midwest. A big part of one of my trees fell over.

Much of my life in July has been trying to set myself into a good routine. I've been eating right, working out, and writing every day.

I'm not great at routine, because I love variety. I guess that's the hardest part. 

The only thing that knocked me off my routine (and he would have said it's no excuse) is that I had a friend pass away recently. He had an awful condition. It really hurts me to think that someone the same age as me is gone because of a disease. It sucks, truly. 

I feel like he could pop up on facebook at any moment and say something snarky to me. I will miss him. I'm going to his visitation today. It's going to be so weird. He would hate the whole thing. He was a metalhead, so any emotional shindig would have made him cringe.

This selfie I took is of my new Fallout 4 shirt. I love Bethesda games so I had to jump on this. It's cool looking, but the material is sorta cheap and it doesn't feel like the size I bought it in. Maybe I should just focus on losing the weight, right? Hah.

This month is going to go by fast. July is summer session at the school I work for, so we don't have any Fridays this month. All four-day weeks. It's really nice. Then we get a little break in August. More time to write, for me. It's not all gloom and doom, I suppose.

Flies in my Brain Web

Here are 10 random things that I have been giving my attention to lately:

a random sketch from the other day

1. My sweet, wonderful, old lady neighbor fell and broke her wrist and hip. I visited her in the hospital the other day. She’s OK, but hates being there.

2. Someone asked me if they could eat my sleeves.

3. I went to the Impractical Jokers liveshow. I had never seen the show, but a friend wanted people to go with and it sounded fun. It was.

4. Incubus’s new song, “Trust Fall” is incredible. My brain has been singing it constantly.

5. My muscles have noticeably gotten bigger from lifting weights since October. I drank muscle milk for the first time yesterday.

6. I was forced to watch a Madea movie for the first time. I did not enjoy it.

7. I recently finished off the last two of Skyrim’s DLC trophies. I can’t believe I’m still playing this game.

8. I’ve been rereading A Song of Ice and Fire. I’ve been listening to podcasts about theories and stuff. I’m obsessed.

9. I had a dream that my bank was trying to get my to invest in mummified dogs as assets.

10. Apparently, telemarketers don't like it when you use a robot voice:

"Sir, you're not a robot."

"Beep. Yes. I. Am."

"Um... sir?"

"Push. One. To. Speak. To. A. Live. Person."

They push 1.

"Beep. Incorrect. Button. Press. Now Transferring. To. Optimus Prime." *drops into a deeper pitch* "We must defeat Megatron."

"F$#& you." They hang up.

No Coffee: Week 1

coffee pokemon

So, one week ago my evil friend assigned me 37 days of torture.

Ok, erm…

I decided that I needed a break from coffee. I was drinking too much. It was giving me an upset stomach and making me feel paranoid (not like dangerously or anything, just over little things). Now, I really, really love coffee. Perhaps Seattle had an effect on me, but I drink it every morning. I drink it when I write and when I play video games. I drink it when I draw and when I sit on YouTube. It makes me feel creative and motivated to work. I knew I needed moderation, but I’m bad at moderation. I needed some sort of quick action to expel me out of my routine.

What I randomly decided one morning was to ask Facebook to give me a number between 1 and 50, which would translate into the number of days I would abstain from drinking coffee/soda/caffeinated beverages. The first person to comment said, “37. I've always liked that number. XD” and so I charted off 37 days of torture.

That lead me to November 11^th. That will be my first day I’m allowed to drink coffee again. It’s convenient that that day is also a day off for me. What I do plan to do is start on moderation. Instead of using this giant red cup, I’ll use my coffee mug. I’ll limit myself to one mug per half-day (so once in the morn and once in the evening), and that will cut my consumption in half.

So, week one is finished for me. My first day without was not great. I had a head ache. The next few were fine, actually. Sunday was the biggest craving for it I’ve had, and I quelled it with some cocoa.

My stomach has felt better. I have not felt paranoid. I’ve actually started a few other dietary habits in the last few weeks, including weight lifting and vegetable-only lunches, so I’ve been feeling good in general. My muscles have been weak and sore, but that has nothing to do with coffee. I have been excessively tired lately. I went to bed on Wednesday and slept for 12 hours.

That’s pretty much it for that.

Clothing

First off, I’d like to introduce my new car:

She’s beautiful and blue and as small as a shoe. 2011 Hyundai Accent.

Most of the last month has been car shopping, for me. I went to every dealer under the sun. It’s amazing how similar each salesperson’s pitch is. “I just sold my son a car, four weeks ago.” They like everything you like. They like to change the topic from car buying to things you like. It’s annoying. I guess, as an English major and communications minor, I am prone to see tactics in interpersonal speech and persuasion. They did not work on me. At the last minute, I managed to talk them down another 500 bucks. Party.

I have a car loan, now.

When I was in Seattle, I hoped that soon I’ve never have to deal with paying for car stuff again. I thought I’d be getting rid of the one up there, since the bus system was so good. It’s not so good in Southern Illinois.

Things change. 

I bought a new video game system. The Wii U. I love it. I have been doing yoga on it every day. I’ve been eating vegetables. After I moved back from Seattle to here, I fell off the health wagon. I want to get back on it.

I have a list of things I want: A new hat. A hat specifically for work. HD camera. PS4. Wii Blue Remote. CD case. CD car for car mirror. Burnable CDs. New notebook. New professional artist grade drawing pens. Binders to sort my novel notes. New Dry erase marker holder. Other, more embarrassing, things that I don’t want to list publicly on my blog.

I cross them off my list as I go. I don’t buy the first items I see. I am frugal. I shop around.

I don’t waste money. 

I do not make a ton of money. I am a teacher, after all.

I bought clothes. I haven’t bought clothes for any other reason than work over four years. I have four new polos, three new T-shirts that are only for social occasions. I have twenty-five pairs of new socks. I trashed my old socks. I have two new sets of gym wear. I have four new pairs of shorts. I have new sneakers and new flip-flops. I have thousands of dollars left over in the bank. I pay my bills on time. My list is almost completely crossed off.

Is there a point to me saying all of this? Yes, and it's not to brag. This is, after all, not an insane list. This is normal stuff people need every day. My point, I guess, is that money doesn't make you happy. I am happy, but not because of the fact that I can take stuff home. It's the control. The feeling that there's only one person who sways my destiny, and that's me. I can buy a shirt because I know I am smart enough not to bounce checks. Four+ years and I finally have a new shirt that I can wear to a bar and not look like a dunce. Four+ years and only now is my savings reaching a peak. Things changed for me, and I am happier for it.

My life, marching on… Tax goof and piano learning

Yeah that was a pun. It’s March. No, I’m not planning on doing standup.

So, my life. Let’s talk about taxes. Haha.

I am an idiot. I sent my taxes to the wrong bank account. I did that direct deposit thing for my return. Typed in double six instead of double five. I felt horrible when I clicked the IRS website and realized that they had sent my return to me on Feb 10 when it was Feb 20, my bank account still empty. I even paid to do that Turbotax thing.

Luckily, I called my bank and they fixed the situation. My smart friend who does banking explained to me about…. no, I’ll just post it in her own words:

Automatic Clearing House. It's an electronic network in which financial transactions are processed. What probably happened is that the system routed it to a non-existent but valid account number at your bank. Since the account number failed, it most likely went into an exceptions account that the bank could pull it from. The ACH system was smart enough not to return to the IRS. Yay!

Banking is so cool.

That it is. Cool. I bank with Catholic and Community Credit Union. God, I love credit unions. Anyone who wants a community run, wonderful alternative to greedy too-big banks should switch to a credit union. There are so many advantages to it, truly. When I lived in Seattle, I was with BECU, which was also great.

So, that’s all I’ll talk about banking. The other part of my life has to do with learning piano.

There’s a keyboard at my house, and I’ve been playing it when I need a mental break. It’s very relaxing, and I think I’m improving! I can play the Game of Thrones theme! It’s fun!

I used to play guitar and bass in a few bands, but I got to a point where I was satisfied with my skill level. I never wanted to be any better than I am now at guitar, so I think I lost interest. I didn’t have any goals to work toward. I was good enough. Piano is new and fun. I can feel myself getting better every day. I want to learn how to play a bunch of songs that I can bust out at parties randomly, lol.

I got to jam with some of my old bandmates recently, and it felt good. Makes me want to play music again. My voice is rusty, to be honest.

Anyway, that’s been my life this past month. I hope your life is going well! If you want to know about the writing stuff I’ve been doing, mosey on over to my Writing Blog.

It Surrounds And Binds Us All, a poem by Harrison Aye

The Poem:
it's the rift from which you came,
it surrounds and binds us all,
it's a drink from the plainer cup,
it's embodied ecstasy.
...life.

it's the bridge from which you came,
it surrounds and binds us all,
it's the taste of sweat and soil,
it has the air of ecstasy.
...love.




This was a poem I wrote a long time ago while getting over someone I loved. I won't say that I still feel the same way as when I wrote it, but I came upon the recorded sung version and decided to make a video out of it. It obviously compares the essence of life to that of love, the similarities and differences. The shared experiences. The way that love and create life, and life creates love.

I always loved the phrase, "it surrounds and binds us all." It's sort of a force/power/magical thought, but also very down to earth. Love is everywhere; life is everywhere.

No Vom Bre – Geno Cosplay, Halllow-hallow-ween, and David Ortiz

So, I went as Geno from Super Mario RPG for Halloween. Only a handful of people at the party knew who I was, but I had wanted to make this costume since I went to PAX Prime so I’m happy to have made it.

Super Mario… R! P! G! It is the only game just for me!

This was a great Halloween season, in general. I got to decorate the heck outof the yard, I went on hikes, went to three parties, finished editing the seconddraft of my novel, and went on a ghost-story telling tour with an old friend.

Life has been very good, actually. I’ve been enjoying the bachelor lifestyle. Playing video games without guilt. Spending no money whatsoever. Taking hikes. Horror movie marathons. Back in that post I wrote about divorce and stuff, I said I was excited about getting to date again. Well, to update on that, I have lost all excitement. I dated one girl for a while, and then I was done. I forgot how much work it takes to date someone, and, only being divorced a month now, I believe I have a right to enjoy a period of relaxed singledom. I disabled my OKcupid account, lol. I kept getting into conversation with girls that had a lot to offer and seemed to click with me, but I just had no follow-through whatsoever because I think I’m going through my apathetic phase. I just want to play Diablo 3 and have guy-type fun like that. I’m sure I’ll get over this, but… yeah. That’s the update on that account. 

We only got one group of trick-or-treators on Halloween. It was raining, so, it sucked. I had set up laser light machines and everything! Instead, I took the candy bowl to my neighbor’s house and offered her some M&Ms, which she took. Then she came out and handed me a little fun prize-bag filled with goodies. So, in that way, at age 27, I got to trick-or-treat. I realized that I hadn’t eaten a candy bar in a very long time. It was so good, especially after watching the movie Trick ‘R Treat (one of the best movies of all time). 

The worst part about moving back to Belleville was watching the Cardinals lose the World Series. How %$!%#$ sad! But, David Ortiz was absolutely amazing (he’s a Red Sox player, and his post-season batting average was like .799 or something). He would get on base and yell at his team to get them motivated. He smashed the crap out of almost every pitch thrown at him. What an excellent player. Even as a Cardinals fan, I have to give it up to him for being such a talented, spirited player. I wish he were on my team. But, the Sox outplayed us in the end. I have to admit that. They were on, and we were falling for their amazing pitching lineup.

Anyway, that’s my life for the past few months. Keep rocking!

Thanks for stopping by my blog!
UNRAVELSPACE UNRAVELTIME

Life Update Blog – 21 December 2012 – APOCALYPSE EDDITION!

What’s up with me?

For the first year of my life in Seattle, I worked at a childcare center, in a room with 14 one-year-olds. It was depressing and hard work, but I survived. I quit, wrote a book, then got a new job.

also, I met this Lando guy, who produced a little movie called Avatar

It only took me 18 days to find work (which felt like record-time for finding a job).

I resumed writing like a mad man after my successful interview, and on October 21, I put an ending on my novel. It was definitely one of the top achievements of my life.

On October 23^rd, I started working at a Big Box Retail Store. I kept applying during my time there (I hate retail, but I wanted to start making money ASAP), to hopefully find something better, which I did. I jumped from that retail job after another successful interview, and now I am working for a local Movie Theatre. I’m getting almost full time hours there, and me and the wife are enjoying the benefits of having free movies whenever we want (which saves us a lot of $$$ on date nights, lol). Also, it’s kinda fun working for a Theatre, because it feels like putting on a show (I used to be a part of a few Dramatic Theatre groups).

At the moment, I’m working my ass off at the Movie Theatre and working my ass off on editing my novel in my free time. After I’ve finished my first set of edits, I’m going to send it to a few of my friends and get some feedback. As the feedback comes in, I will do more editing on my novel. Rinse and repeat, until it is a very shiny document.

Next year, I’m planning on beginning my writing career beyond just my novel. I don’t know exactly how that will happen. Not all of the details on that are complete, though I do have great leads. I know that finishing my novel was the important first step, for me. I had to get that out; the art was screaming at me to create it.

In any time I am not at the Movie Theatre, however, I know I want to try my hand at freelance writing to bring in some extra bucks. Having a job that keeps me late at night is good for this, as I write best in the mornings and during the day (so the day is my own). I want to have a side job, writing on my own time. I also want to build an online presence with social media and blogging. That part will increase for me once I’ve sent my novel out to my beta readers. 

not a brony, not a brony

I also want to start working on other writings, whether it is short stories, poetry, or another novel. I have ideas for all formats, but this is just another cut of my time (that will have to wait for my finished novel to be sent to my betas). For my art time, I know that getting my finished novel published will be the top priority.

Now that I work downtown again, I’ve been doing a lot of reading (I always read on the bus). I finished a friend’s novel, started on another friend’s novel, halfway through the Silmarillian, working on SK’s The Stand, and have dabbled in JKR’s The Casual Vacancy. I’m a spastic reader, and I usually read a bunch of books all at once (for my different moods).

So, that’s me now and my immediate future. You have been updated, officially.

Thanks for stopping by my blog!
UNRAVELSPACE UNRAVELTIME